Welcome back to Another Fireside Chat…WithThree Assholes!
The world is ending and you have time to eat one last meal. What do you choose? Eric and Tim both make pretty normal choices, but Tyler flies out the gate with something a little less…kosher.
That’s right! Cannibalism. He’s eating people, folks. When the chips are down and nothing’s off limits, Tyler is chowing down on long pig, the other other white meat, Soylent Green, people. Meanwhile Tim’s getting sushi and Eric’s grabbing a crapload of fries from Red Robin.
While I acknowledge it’s pretty messed up, I’ve long carried a fear of knowing what flesh tastes like. I mean, imagine you eat some and enjoy it, wouldn’t that knowledge haunt you forever? How would you get more? Would you need it? Would you go through life with a ceaseless guilt over eating a person? What kind of person do you eat? I mean, obviously it’s a drifter, right? It has to be a drifter. No one would miss them. He’s abandoned his life already so even if he has kids and a family he’s already walked out on them. They won’t come looking. So do you eat the whole thing? What do you do with the waste? You can’t just go around throwing out human organs. Think of the smell. Someone’s going to notice that. (more below video)
Okay, so you first need some sort of air tight container…or hefty bags and a trunk freezer. Yeah…that would do it. Put the undesirable parts in garbage bags and freeze them. Then you can take them out into the woods and get rid of them. You would want to dig a shallow hole. Go too deep and you’re under the top soil. Things won’t decay as fast if animals and plants can’t get to them. You also don’t want to leave the garbage bag, but once it’s empty you can toss it in any garbage can. The bones would still be tricky, especially the big ones like the skull and pelvis. Those would be immediately recognizable as human. I suppose the real question is to be a good steward of the environment you’d have to commit to eating all the meat. You’re going to have bits of person in your freezer for months. Hope you found a skinny drifter. And what do you serve with your drifter? You need a veggie to go with it…I’m thinking roasted cauliflower. Damn. Now we have to start thinking about wines. Clearly it’s a red. Yeah. Has to be a red. Hannibal famously chose a chianti to go with liver (or was it a big Amerone?), but what about the rest of the drifter?
Music courtesy of:
Poppies by RoleMusic
Cast and Crew:
Edited by Aelynn Durham
Directed and Produced by Eric Durham