More James Bond movies! Okay, maybe these aren’t as awesome as I remember them being. In fact, it often seems like they’re parodying themselves, that part of the charm is the fact that no one cares. I don’t know, I’m thinking that I’ll probably finish the series off, but when you watch them all back to back like this they really begin to wear on you.

Diamonds are Forever

This is actually one of my preferred Connery outings as the gentleman spy. He does seem older in this for whatever reason, especially when he’s in a Vegas casino in a white tuxedo jacket but that’s hardly the point. I never read the books and all these instances of Blofeld dying/not really dying are actually making me want to give them a ¬†shot. I want to know if they’re as campy as the movies. At least he doesn’t have to “become Japanese” in this one.

Live and Let Die

Hello Roger Moore. As a kid, he was always my least favorite bond and part of me still gut reacts to him that way, but his movies are bad. Up until this point the CIA weren’t the best but they were firmly allied with MI6. This movie starts to shift that more to the CIA being incompetent. They’re the bumbling Watson to MI6’s Sherlock.

The Man With The Golden Gun

Okay. This one has some potential. If only they left out the 12 subplots and just had James trying to stop the assassin that wanted him dead. But noooooo let’s have Bond also save the world at the same time. Because why not? I just want my assassin fight. Also I don’t believe that James Bond would do pistols on the beach. James fights to win.

The Spy Who Loved Me

No, just no. I actually confuse this movie with For Your Eyes Only and Moonraker. All of them want to destroy the world and create a new order. They’re so outrageously over the top and unenjoyable. Was this the one with the submarines that were going to launch nukes to create another world war? Or was this the one with the Atlantis sea station and the jet-ski-in-a-box? Was that the same movie?


Okay, I do recall some sequences of this one as they bring back Jaws, and then they fight in space, and there’s a ridiculous amount of lasers involved. Also, the US has marines and shuttles ready to be launched into space to take out a space station that they only found out about minutes before. How the hell do you get funding for that? The effects aren’t bad but everything, just everything, else is.

For Your Eyes Only

Please see earlier comments about The Spy Who Loved Me

The Last King

This popped up on Netflix and I needed a Bond break. There is some fun fight choreography but also fucking Tormund Giantsbane! For the win. The serious downside for the movie is it’s all dubbed into english. I really wish it were subtitled because all of the dialogue is just so flat and distant. I prefer dubs for anime but that’s because the source material is a cartoon and by definition the audio is recorded in a booth, not live. When you take the actor out of the setting, it removes all the intensity. The movie isn’t anything worth writing home about, though it is enjoyable.